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Channel: the AU review - KERI HILSON
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Supafest 2011: Flemington Racecourse (17.04.11)

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I’m gonna say, despite who may cap my arse for it; the reason there aren’t more urban music festivals in Australia is that artists like the ones on this here line-up are just not that good live. What really bothered me during this day-long festival of rap and hip-hop was the lack of genuine artistry and dedication: almost every act performed along to a backing track, some not even bothering to sing along, only adding grunts and sporadic words when they realized they hadn’t made a noise in a while. It seems like the one-hundred and forty dollar ticket price was to listen to the radio with celebrities in the same vicinity.

I also don’t understand the need (one I only notice at urban music events, seemingly) to have other people do your work for you: every performer came out with sidekicks (a posse, even) that ended up doing more singing and/or rapping than the name on the bill. Is this a done thing? Do people accept this kind of laziness? I don’t get it!

Anyway, my first act for the day was Fat Joe, who, in case you were wondering, is still pretty fat. The crowd is unresponsive and Joe can sense their impatience; one gets the feeling that the entire day rests upon the shoulders of the main act, a Mister Snoop Dogg, and that the audience is merely suffering each act until the late night when the Dogg presides. They perk up some for Joe’s (essentially only) single "What’s Luv" early in the set. A giant cross around his neck shining in the bright afternoon sun, Fat Joe goes out with a reference for all the YouTube geeks in the audience: “I feel like Charlie Sheen right now "'cause I’m WINNIIIIING".

Ciara enters the stage in a burst of pyrotechnics; the ballsy performer dives into the Missy Elliot joint, "Lose Control" and her massive breakout single "Goodies" before it becomes apparent that Ciara is sadly not much of a singer, per se. One would be startled to know that the voice on the "Goodies" CD single is the same one on stage right now; a terrific dancer she may be, but a performance needs more than the odd "uh, oh" and shout out to Mel-born. The camera focuses largely on the jiggling posteriors of herself and her dancers, especially during the sultry "Oh". The backing track does much of the work but Ciara boogies and bumps and grinds through massive hits, "Love Sex and Magic" and "1, 2 Step".

Londoner Taio Cruz (not that that’s important, I just didn’t know) is a backing track boy and slams through sad banger "Break Your Heart" (sans Ludacris), dance track "Higher" (original with Kylie Minogue and Travie McCoy) and the Ke$ha joint "Dirty Picture" before giving us his epic hit "Dynamite" (“Ayyyy-Ohhh, gotta leeeet go!”) to which even I got my dance on… a little.

Game enters; a patchwork of face tatts and snarl, he tells us: “I gits fucked up but I control my drinking” and I stifle a groan. The crowd cheers elatedly when the rapper skulls half a bottle of Grey Goose and a girl in the audience gets her tits out. He gives props to NBA player Kobe Bryant (I don’t know why either) before performing the Game-Fiddy Cent duet "This is How We Do". Though the crowd still looks like a gaggle of smoking zombies, they go crazy to a sample of "California Love", precariously thrown in to no doubt stun the punters from their sweaty miasma.

I am immediately worried by a pair of twelve year-old girls in front of me that look like Prussian Blue and are constantly waving cigarette smoke out their tiny faces. Their adult guardian waves at them from a few rows down; what are they doing here? This is not a place for small, impressionable girls. This makes me sad.

Autotune king T-Pain shambles out, announcing: ”My name is T-Pain and I’ll be your tour guide for this evening” before launching into single "Buy You A Drank" (“Shorty, whatcha think ‘bout that?/ I be in the grey Cadillac”) and boozer anthem "Blame It".

Though I am disappointed not to hear The Lonely Island joint "I’m On A Boat", the crowd go insane for "Low" (“Boots with the furrrr…”) and Pain’s body-poppin’ dancers. Pain himself busts a number of rocking moves before busting out "Black and Yellow".

“All the alcoholics out there make some noise” he yells, apparently misunderstanding the different between addiction and being a bingeing fucktard. Pain sings "Take Your Shirt Off" and people do. They spin them in the air like black and white helicopter blades.

I wander around the grounds; if the audience types were a pie chart, the biggest slice would be Girls in Booty Shorts and/or Midriff Tops. A lesser slice would be Thuggish-Looking Lads and a tiny, infinitesimal slice would be Nerd Reviewers.

I am pleased, though, that there has been no major violence or upset today; social stereotypes dictate that today should eventuate into a gang/race war with someone shuttled off with a shiv wound to the face, but everyone is pretty chuffed in the sunshine. There are rides and the usual hideously overpriced food stands; tattooed young men are driving bumper cars much like they drive their VL Turbo down the Hume Highway.

The man billed as ‘Akon’s DJ’ (Benny D) could have easily been replaced by my iPod and dock; he had all the creativity of a wedding DJ and was incredibly annoying, the constant grunting during songs and unpopular stop-start method of spinning tunes making sure he was ignored. Luckily, due to the schedule being re-jiggered and all the acts running late, he only ever really had to ‘spin’ for one or two songs at a time.

Busta Rhymes slams out, an imposing figure, announcing: “Melbourne girls like to smoke, drink and get freaky” and phoning in a performance of The Pussycat Dolls’ "Don’t Cha" (on which he featured) and, for some reason, "I Gotta Feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. “Everybody dance for fuck’s sake” he orders to the still lackluster crowd and plays "Pass the Courvoisier", sans Pharrell and P.Diddy.

Nelly, the first act to actually impress me of the day, comes out with nostalgic (to me, anyway) "E.I" and an AC/DC t-shirt. It’s a blast from the past, considering one of my first memories of high school was singing "Dilemma" in home room in year seven. He plays with a full band, making a nice change from the blurt-into-a-mic pattern of the day thus far. He plays a golden set: "Shake Ya Tailfeather", "Where Da Party At", "Batter Up", "Airforce Ones" and the massive crowd sing-along "Ride Wit Me" ("HEY, must be the mon-eh!").

To the entire patronage’s surprise, Nelly and band burst forth with not one but two AC/DC covers: "You Shook Me All Night Long" and "Thunderstruck" complete with rock and roll riffage and fist-pump action. I don’t know whether this was a brave move of paying tribute to rock legends or pandering to Aussie audiences, but, either way, it was mega enjoyable.

After the idiotic "Grillz" (the song is fine: the actual product is bollocks), Nelly brings a young girl up on stage from the audience and earnestly apologizes to her in front of thousands of people for treating her unkind on his last tour.

She is freaking out, imaginably, but it is a very cute moment - how nice to see a rapper be a person and not a cartoon! They dance together while Nelly performs "Body On Me"; they get tenderly close and seem to be having a whale of a time. He keeps her by his side for slow jam "Over and Over" before bringing out fellow Supafest performer Keri Hilson (who I missed thanks to the reconfiguration of the set times) for their duet, "Live Tonight".

Although keen to plug his new album 5.0, Nelly goes back to basics with old favourite "Hot in Herre" and "Dilemma", for which he seeks the help of another audience member - this one much more amorous and, creepily, younger than the last (seriously, Nelly had to push her away for all her grinding, ew) - to sing the Kelly Rowland parts of the track. He ends with the wistful "Just A Dream" and the crowd is now pumped to the brim and keen as beans for Snoop Dogg.

The self-titled Doggfather and renowned king of hip-hop, Snoop Dogg; some people have been waiting all day for this. The preamble booms over the grounds (Carl Orff’s "Carmina Burana"; a touch ambitious, I thought) as a video intro portrays the rapper as a sort of Godfather-type figure. It seems every rapper cultivates the idea of being a gangster; ever watched Cribs? Every rap and hip-hop personality has ‘Scarface’ playing on their giant cinema screens. I think the reality of mob violence is much scarier and dirtier than Snoop and Co. make it look.

Snoop, of course, opens with "Next Episode" (“La-da-da-da-dahh/ It's the motherfucking D-O-double-G…”); Snoop clues the crowd to the next track by asking what his favourite beverage might be… a woman behind me yells, “Gin and tonic!”, making me laugh.

"The Shiznit" follows before the Snoop-Akon joint, "I Wanna Fuck You" (usually changed to "I Wanna Love You", which I think sounds nicer… shut up) as grinding dancers pull porno moves. Snoop brings out his ‘mini-me’ in Lil’ Bow Wow for "Bow Wow (That’s My Name)" - wow, look at him now! - before segueing into "P.I.M.P".

"Don’t Stop" leads into some heartfelt tributes, as other acts have done today, to deceased rap icons Notorious B.I.G and Tupac Shakur. I find myself strangely moved, especially by Snoop’s insistence of a minute of silence for the recently departed Nate Dogg; the camera projects Snoop’s solemn face on to the massive screens as he stands, eyes shut, in quiet remembrance.

Snoop lifts the mood with House of Pain’s rambunctious "Jump Around" before wrapping it up with "Drop it Like It’s Hot" (“I’m a gangsta, but ya’ll knew that”); I was impressed with Snoops’s performance tonight since, sadly, the last time I saw him on his headlining tour, he was incredibly disappointing - stoned to the eyeballs and performing lazily. Snoop actually raps throughout his set and stirs the crowd into a cheering frenzy. That’s a performer.


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